Saturday, 30 January 2010

Aliens, Acorns and Anal Probes

Our final adventure along this northern trip was in PA, about one/two hours away from Dry Run. It was in the brilliant and intriguing town of Kecksburg. Yes this is another bizarre roadside attraction that we spotted and had to see.

Kecksburg claims that a spaceship shaped like an acorn landed there and many local eyewitnesses saw the police and military drive in and take things from the site and leave.

Nothing much was thought about this until the 1970s, when a documentary crew were filming a TV series about unexplained phenomenon and came into town. They created a replica of the 'space acorn' which they left when they had finished.

This acorn was placed onto the top of a building by the town and forgotten.

For many years

Until the Hype of Roswell and dollar signs entered the minds of the inhabitants of Kecksburg.

The Acorn was taken down and placed atop a large pole after being painted a fetching brown, at the bottom of a hillside. Two outdoor lights were fixed to illuminate this magnificent alien beast at night, so late visitors will not be disappointed.

I arrived in the light, which was quite lucky, as if I had arrived in the dark I would not have entered the UFO store, which is located in the back of the very local bar.

Kecksburg was not the most attractive of towns. nor did it seem the safest for strangers. So we may have procrastinated for ten r more minutes about whether we had the courage to enter the bar.

The Baroness had the decency to allow the poor English girl to enter the very local American bar first. I summoned my entire courage and opened the door, only to find myself at another door with a sign that simply said.

'Press Buzzer'

Why? My brain asked, while my hand full of bravery pressed.

Eight pairs of eyes turned to focus with strange intensity upon myself as I entered the room.

The UFO store was nowhere in sight.


Was this a ruse, a mere ploy to entice unsuspecting tourists into a scary trap. Visions of House of 1000 Corpses jumped into my mind.

I had seen Deliverance.

"Ask," whispered the Baroness, again revealing her gentlemanly behaviour.

"Excuse me." The eyes bore further as the accent was clocked "Is there a UFO store."

Six pairs of eyes rolled. One smiled and pointed to the eighth, who was getting up of her seat.
"Sure it's back here." She puts our her cigarette and opens a door, revealing a space no bigger than a toilet cubical, filled with sweatshirts, T-Shirts, Little Green Men (either stuffed or blown up), mugs, hats and shot glasses.

The Baroness purchased a mug (mugs are a thing with her) and I could not resist the hoodie with a fantastic reenactment of the Acorn crash landing (which in the jumper resembled, unfortunately, an anal probe.)

It is now my favourite item of clothing.

Then we headed back home to PA.

The Countess.

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